Hey Dirk, Many thanks for this careful review and apologies for the delay in replying (I am currently away from home at a small networking conference). Tl;dr Nearly completely "Yes" Individual response in line. Cheers, Adrian > The following are other (minor) issues I found with this document that SHOULD > be corrected before publication: > > Since on p.3 scope is limited to network technologies described and > standardized by the IETF, I would omit on p.4 mentioning 'optical' and mayde > replace by L3VPN or other IETF network technology. We talked about this on a separate thread, and I am not going to omit 'optical'. But I will add some words to clarify that we are talking about an IETF-specified data plane and/or management/control plane. > The following are very minor issues (typos, misspelling, minor text > improvements) with the document: > > p.3: (e.g. eMBB => (e.g., eMBB > a customer to describe their => customers to describe their Ack > p.5: resources (e.g. =>resources (e.g., > of data, control and => of data, control, and > level of control of, e.g., to customize => level of control to, e.g., customize > [?] OR: level of control of means, e.g., to customize Ack > p.6: maybe a physical => may be a physical Ack > p.15: Maximum Permissible Packet Loss Rate: The ratio => Maximum Permissible > Packet Loss Ratio: The ratio Nice! And found another of these. > p.16: (e.g. diversity, => (e.g., diversity, Ack > p.23: issues of abstraction in a TE network => issues of abstraction in a > Traffic Engineering (TE) network Ow, wow! Yes. > This API communicates => This Interface can be seen as Application Programming > Interface (API) communicating API is starred at https://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt and I suspect more than a few readers will be familiar with the term. > p.25: provisioning, operating and => provisioning, operating, and Ack > p.34: underpin a IETF Network => underpin an IETF Network Oops. > p.35: instantiate such an IETF Network Service Slice. => instantiate such an > IETF Network Slice. [expression of 'IETF Network Service Slice' is not defined > nor used anywhere else in the document] Yeah, could catch. "IETF Network Slice Service" > p.37: IETF Network Slices Service => IETF Network Slice Services Ack > p.38: be mitigated by reduding the access => be mitigated by reducing the > possibility of access [?] I think this one stands. > p.39: importance that the system use the privacy protection mechanism => > importance that the system uses the > privacy protection mechanism A grumpy Ack here. > p.47: In many case, => In many cases, Ack > p.49: is no different to => is not different to OR: does not differ from More grumpy conversion to common usage ;-) > p.51: End-to- End Connectivity => End-to-End Connectivity Ack > p.52: with Inter- connected Networks => with Inter-connected Networks OR: with > Interconnected Networks [consistent use within the document] Ack > Also consistent use of US or UK English spelling - e.g. characterise vs. > characterize should be achieved IMO. Global change "enterprise" --> "enterprize" and "otherwise" --> "otherwize" Back out global change, and do the work properly. -- last-call mailing list last-call@xxxxxxxx https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call
