Re: [Last-Call] Dnsdir last call review of draft-ietf-quic-version-negotiation-10

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Hi Petr, thank you for your review.
I prefer to keep the current ordering of the document, but I've added a reference to the definition of transport parameters as you suggested:
https://github.com/quicwg/version-negotiation/commit/b07f813b0f4bedf874d2b6f50175d6a5de183560
David

On Tue, Oct 11, 2022 at 1:54 AM Petr Špaček via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
Reviewer: Petr Špaček
Review result: Ready with Nits

The document contains no direct or indirect reference to the DNS.

I'm unfamiliar with QUIC protocol details and thus not qualified to make
detailed comments on the protocol. On the surface, it looks good.

The document is clearly motivated, and the proposed mechanism's description
contains helpful examples throughout the whole document.

A list of nits follows, very likely as a matter of personal taste - feel free
to ignore:

>From my perspective, the document overuses forward references to itself, which
makes it harder to follow.

a) Section 8 Special Handling for QUIC Version 1
It would be nice if this section were mentioned in the beginning. For a while,
I thought the proposed protocol could not work because I did not notice special
handling in the Table of contents. I would put it forwarding, possibly as a
subsection of the Version Information section.

b) The first mention of "transport parameter" could use a reference to RFC 9000
sec. 7.4 to make it easier for the reader.

c) Also, section 5.  Server Deployments of QUIC forward could appear earlier,
possibly as a subsection of the Version Information section.

For me personally more logical text flow would be:

   1.  Introduction  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   3
   3.  Version Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   8
      8.  Special Handling for QUIC Version 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . .  15
      5.  Server Deployments of QUIC  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  11
   2.  Version Negotiation Mechanism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   4
   4.  Version Downgrade Prevention  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  10

With enough jumping back and forth, the document makes sense, so again, feel
free to ignore me.


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