Thanks Pete for the review i have addressed the nits, including the abundance of MUSTs :) and will release in a next version 08 include other review comments. -Chris > On Mar 15, 2021, at 4:06 PM, Pete Resnick via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> wrote: > > Reviewer: Pete Resnick > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-acme-authority-token-tnauthlist-07 > Reviewer: Pete Resnick > Review Date: 2021-03-15 > IETF LC End Date: 2021-03-16 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: > > Looks fine. Some of the MUSTs look weird or superfluous to me and could > probably use a scrub, and a couple are a bit confusing, but none is so bad that > I would raise them as an "issue"; call them "nits/editorial comments". > > Major issues: > > None > > Minor issues: > > None > > Nits/editorial comments: > > Section 1: It's not clear to me what the purpose of the third paragraph in the > intro is. It sounds like it's just describing section 9 of RFC 8226, but it is > not distinguishing it from or comparing it to this document. Is it really > needed? > > Section 3: > > Instead of a reference to 7.4 of RFC 8555, perhaps a reference to section 7 > generally would help, or perhaps a reference later in this section to 7.1.4. > Once I got down to the examples, I had to go look at 7.1.4 to familiarize > myself with the operation to understand what I was looking at. > > Total nit, and just a personal pet peeve: It always seems silly to me to use > MUST where the meaning of that word is "MUST do what the protocol we are hereby > defining says to do". So instead of "MUST include", it could simply be > "includes", and "MUST be" could be "is" in the two places it occurs. These > three did not cause any significant confusion, whereas the ones is section 4 > and 5.4 did cause some (see below). Either way, you should review all of them > in the document and decide what is truly needed. > > Section 4: > > Where it says, "a CA MUST use the Authority Token challenge type of "tkauth-01" > with a "tkauth-type" of "atc"", I am left to wonder what other choice the CA > might make such that you have to warn it that it MUST use these. Why is "uses" > not sufficient? > > Conversely, when you say that the "token-authority" parameter is "optional" > (did you mean OPTIONAL): Is that really true? Is it that it MUST be used "in > cases where the VoIP telephone network requires the CA to identify the Token > Authority" (in which case it's not OPTIONAL), or is that simply an operational > consideration, and protocol-wise it is truly OPTIONAL? On the other hand, the > MAY and MUST at the end of the paragraph seem more appropriately to be "can" > and "can only". And the MUST in the following paragraph seems like another of > the ones in which you could change "MUST respond" to "responds". > > Section 5: > > The last paragraph seems superfluous. > > Section 5.4: > > The MUST NOT in the third bullet actually caused me a bit of confusion: I tried > to read it as a requirement of this document. I think you mean "is not" instead > of "MUST NOT be". > > Section 5.5: > > The response to the POST request if successful MUST return a 200 OK > with a JSON body that contains, at a minimum, the TNAuthList... > > I think instead you mean: > > The response to the POST request if successful returns a 200 OK with > a JSON body that MUST contain, at a minimum, the TNAuthList... > > Then you won't need the "...however..." bit at the end of the next sentence. > > In the last paragraph, why "SHOULD" and not "MUST"? > > > -- last-call mailing list last-call@xxxxxxxx https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call
