Hi Peter, Thank you for the review. An updated version with changes to address you review can be seen at: https://github.com/boucadair/draft-ietf-dots-discovery/blob/master/draft-ietf-dots-server-discovery-12.txt A diff is also available here: https://tinyurl.com/dots-discovery-peter Please see inline. Cheers, Med > -----Message d'origine----- > De : Peter Yee via Datatracker [mailto:noreply@xxxxxxxx] > Envoyé : lundi 19 octobre 2020 06:48 > À : gen-art@xxxxxxxx > Cc : draft-ietf-dots-server-discovery.all@xxxxxxxx; dots@xxxxxxxx; > last-call@xxxxxxxx > Objet : Genart last call review of draft-ietf-dots-server-discovery- > 12 > > Reviewer: Peter Yee > Review result: Ready with Issues > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by > the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like > any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-dots-server-discovery-12 > Reviewer: Peter Yee > Review Date: 2020-10-18 > IETF LC End Date: 2020-10-12 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: This document specifies several methods by which a DOTS > agent may be discovered dynamically. The document has a few nits. It > also places what may be an unreasonable burden on the need to obtain > authentication credentials during an attack. [Ready with Issues] > > Major issues: None > > Minor issues: > > Page 4, section 1, last paragraph: the assumption that a DOTS agent > can obtain an authentication credential in the midst of an attack in > order to authenticate to another DOTS agent (server) in order to > obtain services seems odd. [Med] There is no such assumption in the draft. That text is about what is required to pre-provisioned so that a discovered server can be used. Add "pre-" to that text to avoid confusion. There are already provisions in this > document to allow servers to be specified by IP address in order to > reduce the need to hit the DNS for a name resolution. But it's > considered reasonable to attempt a more complex protocol in order to > obtain a credential that may well be server-specific? [Med] The mechanisms used to provision the credentials are not the ones used to discover the reachability information (think about SIP and the like). We are following a similar model for DOTS and hence the current scope for discovery in the document. I think more > discussion should be given here, particularly to possible > mitigations. One suggestion might be to perform DOTS service > discovery periodically (while not under > attack) [Med] As indicated in Section 4, the discovery will be executed when "attach(ing) to a new network" (covers the bootstrapping case) and then reiterated upon expiry of a validity timer. Other triggers to reiterate the procedure is and obtain the credentials needed to access each discovered > service. > While the set of services that are discovered during an attack may > not exactly match those discovered prior to the attack, the idea is > that the need for obtaining credentials during an attack could be > obviated for services that have not changed during the intervening > period. Further considerations could include rediscovering services > and obtaining new credentials as old ones expire. [Med] As called in Section 4, rediscovery will be doesn't upon credentials expiry. > > Page 6, section 4, 1st paragraph, last sentence: I'd consider > dropping this sentence. It presumes that operators do not know how > to segregate their hosts between different configuration regimes > (manual/static vs. dynamic). Operators might prefer to maintain > different DOTS services for hosts on their networks and to configure > them with a mix of methods. [Med] This is exactly what this text is about. Anyway, reworded the text. This is similar to networks with both > fixed IP addresses and DHCP services. Operators are expected to deal > with configuration correctly and prevent clashes. > > Page 7, 1st paragraph after the number list, last sentence: I'd say > "suitable" > might be more suitable (sorry) than "proper". It's not that a > device's DNS configuration may not be proper, but that it can't be > modified for DOTS purposes. The device may perform all other DNS > lookup functions for its primary purpose without issue and still not > be able to use DNS for DOTS discovery purposes. [Med] OK. > > Page 11, section 5.1.3, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: neither RFC > 8415 (section > 10) or the sub-referenced RFC 1035 (section 3.1) gives information > on "validating" a domain name. What is meant by the term > "validating"? [Med] The validation is about making sure that he encoding follows the one in 1035 and that no compression form is used. > > Page 11, section 5.1.3, 6th paragraph: add a discussion of what > happens if all addresses end up being discarded. It doesn't have to > be terribly involved, but the case should be addressed. Do reference > identifiers (as when both OPTIONS_V6_DOT_RI and > OPTIONS_V6_DOTS_ADDRESS are present) then need to be treated as > names to be resolved? > [Med] Rearranged the text so that one about validating addresses is discussed first. The discussion will then be whether valid addresses are obtained or not. > Page 13, section 5.2.3, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: same comment as > given for 5.1.3/4/2. > > Page 13, section 5.2.3, 6th paragraph: same comment as given for > 5.1.3/6. > [Med] Idem as above. > Nits/editorial comments: [Med] Fixed all those. Thank you, Peter. > > Page 3, section 1, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: change "appraoch" to > "approach". Change "allows" to "helps". > > Page 5, section 3, 2nd bullet item, 1st sentence: change "to > associate" to "associating". > > Page 5, section 3, 2nd bullet item, 2nd sentence: change "to > directly provision" to "directly provisioning". Consider swapping > "avoiding" and "therefore". > > Page 6, 2nd bullet item: change "straightforward" to > "Straightforward". > > Page 6, section 4, 2nd paragraph last sentence: change "samples" to > "examples". > Change the colon to a period. > > Page 6, list item 1, first bullet item, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: > delete the comma after "A DOTS client". > > Page 6, last partial sentence: delete the "'s" (apostrophe s). > > Page 8, section 5, 3rd paragraph: change "to also supply" to "also > supplying". > > Page 8, section 5, 7th paragraph: change "to terminate" to > "terminating". > > Page 11, section 5.1.3, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: insert "the" > before "reference identifier". > > Page 11, section 5.1.3, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert "an" > before "underlying resolution library". > > Page 13, section 5.2.3, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: insert "the" > before "reference identifier". > > Page 15, Figure 8 title: delete "Sample". > > Page 18, section 8.1, 2nd paragraph, 4th sentence: change "pe- > configured" to "pre-configured". > > Page 18, section 8.1, 2nd paragraph, 5th sentence: insert "a" before > "list". > Change "DHCP discovered" to "DHCP-discovered". > > Page 18, section 8.1, 2nd paragraph, last sentence: change "DHCP > discovered" to "DHCP-discovered". > > _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. 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