Hi Tom,
I have reflected your comments with the revised draft:
I put my answers inline below.
On Thu, Aug 27, 2020 at 6:29 PM tom petch <daedulus@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Looking at the YANG:
RFC4443 is referenced and so must be in the I-D References
=> This RFC4443 is included in the Normative References.
RFC790 is referenced but this is now online under IANA - you can see the
=> This RFC790 is included in the Normative References with its URL.
IANA reference in
draft-ietf-i2nsf-sdn-ipsec-flow-protection-08
but that I-D needs to add it to the I-D references as this one will need
to; I note that this announcement flags it as a downref but think that
that is misguided - it needs replacing.
=> Could you clarify this question?
I put the reference to draft-ietf-i2nsf-sdn-ipsec-flow-protection-08 in the draft.
IPsec is the correct spelling - there are some IPSec in YANG
description clauses
=> IPsec is used instead of IPSec.
Figure 8
2. The location of the NSF is 221.159.112.140.
This address does not appear in the XML, nor is it an address reserved
for use in documentation AFAICT; in fact, I cannot see any ipaddress
anywhere in this I-D
=> I put the following text for an actual IPv4 address for documentation
in Appendix 5:
The IPv4 address of the NSF is assumed to be 192.0.2.11 [RFC5737].
Also, the IPv6 address of the NSF is assumed to be 2001:DB8:0:1::11 [RFC3849].
Also, the IPv6 address of the NSF is assumed to be 2001:DB8:0:1::11 [RFC3849].
---
In addition, I added the XML examples of IPv6 as well as those of IPv4 in Appendix A
with Figure 5 and Figure 7.
s.2 correctly cites RFC8174 but does not use the text prescribed there.
=> I removed RFC8174 from the draft.
' identity system-event-capability'
references system-alarm - system event would seem more apt. More
generally, these references for identity could be more specific, e.g
identity access-violation
could reference 'access-violation ' rather than the more generic 'system
event'
=> I tried to improve the descriptions of the events and alarms above.
Thanks for your valuable comments.
Best Regards,
Paul
Tom Petch
----- Original Message -----
From: "The IESG" <iesg-secretary@xxxxxxxx>
To: "IETF-Announce" <ietf-announce@xxxxxxxx>
Cc: <rdd@xxxxxxxx>; <i2nsf@xxxxxxxx>;
<draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model@xxxxxxxx>;
<i2nsf-chairs@xxxxxxxx>; "Linda Dunbar" <dunbar.ll@xxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, August 25, 2020 6:59 PM
> The IESG has received a request from the Interface to Network Security
> Functions WG (i2nsf) to consider the following document: - 'I2NSF
Capability
> YANG Data Model'
> <draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-08.txt> as Proposed Standard
>
> The IESG plans to make a decision in the next few weeks, and solicits
final
> comments on this action. Please send substantive comments to the
> last-call@xxxxxxxx mailing lists by 2020-09-08. Exceptionally,
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>
> Abstract
>
>
> This document defines a YANG data model for the capabilities of
> various Network Security Functions (NSFs) in the Interface to
Network
> Security Functions (I2NSF) framework to centrally manage the
> capabilities of the various NSFs.
>
> The file can be obtained via
>
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model/
>
>
> The following IPR Declarations may be related to this I-D:
>
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/ipr/3556/
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/ipr/3606/
>
> The document contains these normative downward references.
> See RFC 3967 for additional information:
> rfc8329: Framework for Interface to Network Security Functions
(Informational - IETF stream)
> rfc8192: Interface to Network Security Functions (I2NSF): Problem
Statement and Use Cases (Informational - IETF stream)
> rfc790: Assigned numbers (Historic - Legacy stream)
> rfc3444: On the Difference between Information Models and Data
Models (Informational - IETF stream)
> draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-monitoring-data-model: I2NSF NSF Monitoring
YANG Data Model (None - IETF stream)
>
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===========================
Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D.
Associate Professor
Department of Computer Science and Engineering
Sungkyunkwan University
Office: +82-31-299-4957
Email: jaehoon.paul@xxxxxxxxx, pauljeong@xxxxxxxx
Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php
Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D.
Associate Professor
Department of Computer Science and Engineering
Sungkyunkwan University
Office: +82-31-299-4957
Email: jaehoon.paul@xxxxxxxxx, pauljeong@xxxxxxxx
Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php
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