Dear Elwyn, One quick comment about: > s7: This is an informational document and, as such, cannot have > normative > references. Please combine all references into one refererences > section. If we refer to the IESG statement available at: https://ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/normative-informative-references/, we can read the following: "Note 3: The normative/informative distinction is relevant in any document that amounts to a technical specification, even if its intended status is Experimental or Informational." So, that's fine to have a normative ref section (if justified) for this document. That's said, I do personally think that at least [RFC8782][RFC8783] have to be moved as Informative... but not for the reasons mentioned in the review.. Cheers, Med > -----Message d'origine----- > De : Dots [mailto:dots-bounces@xxxxxxxx] De la part de Elwyn Davies > via Datatracker > Envoyé : mercredi 10 juin 2020 18:00 > À : gen-art@xxxxxxxx > Cc : last-call@xxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-dots-use-cases.all@xxxxxxxx; > dots@xxxxxxxx > Objet : [Dots] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-dots-use-cases-23 > > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-dots-use-cases-23 > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review Date: 2020-06-10 > IETF LC End Date: 2020-06-11 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: > Ready wih some minor nits. > > Major issues: > None > > Minor issues: > None > > Nits/editorial comments: > s1, para 1: Just a thought: might be worth adding to the end of this > para: > "and increase the time for deployment in a situation where speed is > often of > the essence". > > s1, last para: Suggest adding in reference to DOTS requirements doc > which is > referred to in s2: OLD: > This document provides sample use cases that provided input for the > design of the DOTS protocols [RFC8782][RFC8783]. > NEW > This document provides sample use cases that motivated the > requirements > for the DOTS protocols [RFC8612] and provided input for the design > of > those protocols [RFC8782][RFC8783]. > ENDS > > s2: For more logical ordering, move the definition of DDos Mitigation > Service > Provider after definition of DDoS Mitigation Service. > > s2, DDoS Mitigation Service: > OLD: > Service subscriptions usually > involve Service Level Agreement (SLA) that have to be met. > NEW: > Each service subscription usually > involves a Service Level Agreement (SLA) that has to be met. > ENDS > > s3.1, para 1: The abbreviation ITP has already been defined so you > shouldn't > have a redefinition here. > > s3.1, para 7: s/thought different/though different/ > > s3.1, 2nd set of bullets, that are below Fig 1: This woud be more > elegant using > (a), (b), etc as the bullet labels. > > s3.1: Comment (not being familiar with the DOTS proposals): The text > indicates > that the ITP mitigation effort is an all or nothing buisness. Is this > always > the case or could the client request or the server provide a > proportional > response rather than an all or nothing response? > > s3.2, last sentence of 2nd para after Fig 2: s/These exact/The exact/ > > s3.3, para 2: s/various information/various sets of information/ > > s3.3, para after Figure 4: s/monitor various network traffic/monitor > various > aspects of the network traffic/. > > s3.3, 2nd para after Figure 4: s/it's/it is/ > > s3.3, last five paras: Calling out a web interface specifically is > overly > specific. Suggest adding 'for example'in at least one case or > changing it to > 'user interface'. > > s3.3, first para on page 11: > OLD: > to infer the DDoS Mitigation to elaborate and coordinate. > NEW: > to infer, elaborate and coordinate the appropriate DDoS Mitigation. > ENDS > > s3.3, 3rd and subsequent paras on page 11: The orchestrator appears to > change > from one DOTS server to a plurality at this point. Please make it > clear > whether there is one or many. If only one, then s/The orchestrator > DOTS > servers returns this information back/The orchestrator DOTS server > returns this > information/ and s/servers/server/ subsequently. > > s3.3, last para s/like requesting/such as requesting/ > > s7: This is an informational document and, as such, cannot have > normative > references. Please combine all references into one refererences > section. > > > > _______________________________________________ > Dots mailing list > Dots@xxxxxxxx > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/dots _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. 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