We are not a laptop. Why are we a laptop? Can we not be a laptop?

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Long story short: We have one of those little $100 Chinese mini PCs running 18.04 LTS. ("Wintel Pro" / "Wintel Box") It thinks it has a battery, possibly because it thinks it is a laptop. The "battery" level notifications - that I have tried a million ways to kill - are driving me nuts because I'm trying to use this machine to run a looping slideshow while the workplace is open.

Long story short: We have one of those little $100 Chinese mini PCs running 18.04 LTS. ("Wintel Pro" / "Wintel Box") It thinks it has a battery, possibly because it thinks it is a laptop. The "battery" level notifications - that I have tried a million ways to kill - are driving me nuts because I'm trying to use this machine to run a looping slideshow while the workplace is open.

Thought I might have had this fixed but HAHAHA NOPE

Related question: Why does Ubuntu power management set a battery as the default power supply on a desktop machine?

This is where someone asked "What is the output of laptop-detect -v?"

It is: We're a laptop (non device ACPI batteries found)

But we are emphatically not a laptop, and we don't want to be a laptop. How can we not be a laptop?
https://www.miscof.com/best-laptops-for-medical-schools-in-2020-top-reviews/

CPU is Intel Atom x5-Z8350. Do let me know if additional information is required. The fault may have nothing to do with Ubuntu but I live in hope Ubuntu might have the tools to fix it.

(Aside: LibreOffice Impress slides run fine, but I would not recommend these machines for high-resolution video playback.)
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