New Product Release: SnackGuard WireX Communications, Inc. April 1, 2002 WireX is pleased to announce the latest addition to the Immunix family of security tools: SnackGuard. SnackGuard effectively guards your favorite snacks in the break room from "snack smashing" attacks: the predations of other hungry engineers. This protection is especially vital in these trying times of unemployment, when nomadic tribes of hunter/gatherer geeks roam the halls of once mighty dot.com's in search of food and caffeine. Following on StackGuard's "canary" defense, SnackGuard employs WireX's patent-pending "turkey" defense: when SnackGuard detects the "gobbling" noise of some turkey scarfing down your favorite pop tarts and heavily caffeinated beverages, it issues a pink slip, halting the gobbler. While SnackGuard is effective in defending your snacks, it is not without costs. SnackGuard increases run time when you are running to catch the bus or the elevator, in that successful defense of your snacks tends to increase "programmer's butt". Excessive consumption of caffeinated beverages without intervening bathroom breaks may also induce personal "buffer overflows". While SnackGuard is "free speech", it is not "free beer": you may modify and distribute this gag as you wish, but go buy your own brewskis. Crispin -- Crispin Cowan, Ph.D. Chief Scientist, WireX Communications, Inc. http://wirex.com Security Hardened Linux Distribution: http://immunix.org Available for purchase: http://wirex.com/Products/Immunix/purchase.html
