This article from NYTimes.com has been sent to you by psa188@xxxxxxxxx /-------------------- advertisement -----------------------\ From the warped minds behind SUPER TROOPERS... Fox Searchlight Pictures is proud to present BROKEN LIZARD'S CLUB DREAD in theaters everywhere FEBRUARY 27. Surrounded by limber, wanton women on a booze-soaked island resort owned by Coconut Pete (Bill Paxton) - a rock star has-been. But the non-stop party takes a turn for the weird when dead bodies start turning up faster than you could drink a rum punch. Watch the trailer and join the bloggin fun on the official website at http://www.clubdread.com \----------------------------------------------------------/ On the Road: Captive Audience 30,000 Feet in the Air February 17, 2004 By JOE SHARKEY Some business travelers gripe that airlines have been giving them a figurative song and dance for too many years. But lately, some airlines have been offering an actual song and dance, and a lot of readers responding to last week's column don't appreciate it. Katie Karlovitz wrote to describe "something I just experienced on JetBlue - the pilot yakking away with lame jokes, as if our flight taking off was Open Mike Night at the Comedy Club instead of a huge flying machine loaded with people and fuel." The main topic of last week's column was the American Airlines pilot who used the public address system on a transcontinental flight to evangelize for converts to Christianity. Gerard J. Arpey, chief executive of the AMR Corporation, American's parent company, subsequently apologized for the pilot's behavior. Gail Myers was among scores of readers who expressed outrage at the pilot's action. "That was more offensive to me than the media cause célèbre'' at the Super Bowl halftime show, she wrote. But in that column I also noted in passing that any plane full of passengers was a captive audience, and that a handful of airlines - Southwest, JetBlue and Song among them - are encouraging flight crews to entertain passengers with wisecracks, patter, songs and silly group games. Asked about that, many readers booed. Though she called it a "lesser offense" than a proselytizing pilot, Mary Beeson said it was still "a bad idea for airlines to encourage crews to 'entertain' passengers with jokes and wisecracks." Humor, she noted, "is an extremely subjective thing." Heather Thomson agreed. "I travel extensively on business and use my flight time as office time," she said, "so at the risk of being a humorless drudge, I confess to finding these tactics annoying." Being subject to live in-flight entertainment from the merry crew is like "being hijacked by a band of cartoon characters," groused Alan Gottesman. John Richard said that "corporate travel policies" made him a frequent flier on Southwest. "Please save your shtick for your Star Search audition," he suggested, adding: "Always bear in mind that oldest of show-biz saws: Dying is easy; comedy is hard." After wincing through a singing Southwest pilot's performance, Peter Talbert said, "Just get me where I'm going and leave me in peace." Passengers who don't want to listen are "a captive audience with no hook." That's because the hook "would have been confiscated at the security check," he wisecracked. Alan Hogenauer mentioned the inevitable rerun factor encountered by frequent fliers. "Yes, some folks seem to chortle at Southwest's feeble attempts to be funny," he said. "But after the third or fourth rendition by plagiarizing flight attendants, it gets mighty tedious." Ruth L. Grossman remembers thinking "silence is golden," during the jokes and games on a Song flight. Then, when "no one arrived to open the door for 15 minutes after we landed and passengers stood in the aisles in expectation, somehow the crew remained mute," she noted dryly. Still, a fair number of readers said they had no objections to frivolity. "I'm a United Executive Premier and have suffered through my share of tedious pilot speeches, but thankfully no one has yet tried to convert me," wrote Liz Lutz, who added: "I do like the comedy routines on Southwest, though. After the interminable security line at Oakland and the hassle of no preassigned seating, it's a welcome change to encounter nonrobotic flight attendants who actually seem to be enjoying their jobs." Susan Forman recalled a harrowing flight in stormy weather when her plane suddenly dropped like a rock for six long seconds before recovering. The pilot didn't make an announcement afterward to explain. "I was petrified," she wrote. "I do a fair bit of business travel, and am now grateful for any words from the cockpit, humorous or otherwise, when I fly. It means the pilots are relaxed and comfortable with the flight - and so am I." Harvey Diamond recalled: "I was on a US Air trip and the pilot said, 'We have some good news and bad news. The good news is we have on board a man having his 100th birthday.' Everyone clapped and cheered. 'The bad news is the 100-year-old man is the pilot.' Well, the laughs were huge." David L. Hoffman Jr. said he enjoyed the announcement from a JetBlue pilot approaching San Francisco International: "Well, we've found the airport again." Rick Stark also liked a JetBlue joke. "The other day during the rollout after landing in Orlando, the pilot went on the P.A. and said, "Whoa, big fella." Dick Allphin heard the same one on a different airline. "On Southwest, just as we landed and the plane's reverse thrusters went into action, the flight attendant called out, "Whoa, big boy," he recounted. Bill Gander, a Continental captain for 23 years, said that he tailored his flight announcements to the passengers and the route, sticking to the bare facts on flights full of business travelers, and more often making occasional small talk on heavily leisure flights. Here's one he has used when it is time to leave the gate and passengers are still standing: "We need all passengers to please be seated so we can begin pushing back; also, if you're standing in the aisle, I can't see to back this thing up." Donald Bain wrote the best-selling "Coffee, Tea or Me?," a 1967 memoir purportedly by two swinging stewardesses whose names appeared as authors and whose anecdotes were loosely woven into Mr. Bain's imaginative narrative. One stewardess told him she made the following announcement over the P.A. on her last flight on Eastern Airlines: "We're about to land. Please be sure you're wearing your shoes. That'll make it easier to match up legs in the event of an accident." Meanwhile, Bruce Buckland pointed out that "it is possible to have in-flight announcements" from passengers. His 6-year-old daughter gave one during a landing in Boston after some turbulence. When the aircraft touched down with a big bounce, his daughter grabbed the armrests and yelled "at the top of her lungs: Hold on, everybody!" On the Road appears each Tuesday. E-mail: jsharkey@xxxxxxxxxxxx http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/17/business/17road.html?ex=1078029484&ei=1&en=a1c457dfdbf6d116 --------------------------------- Get Home Delivery of The New York Times Newspaper. Imagine reading The New York Times any time & anywhere you like! Leisurely catch up on events & expand your horizons. Enjoy now for 50% off Home Delivery! 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