=20 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This article was sent to you by someone who found it on SF Gate. The original article can be found on SFGate.com here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=3D/chronicle/archive/2003/08= /24/TR258889.DTL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunday, August 24, 2003 (SF Chronicle) Airline humor Web site stays aloft with first-class laughs Harry Shattuck Folks in Dayton, Ohio, where Wilbur and Orville Wright resided most of their lives, are understandably consumed with commemorations of their hometown heroes' historic first flight 100 years ago above a North Carolina sand dune. And a highlight of this yearlong celebration is "Inventing Flight," a series of special events that continued through July 20 in Dayton. (See www.inventingflight.com for details.) It's all a joke, however, to Tim Bete, a humor columnist and co-director of the University of Dayton's Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. Not that Bete doesn't appreciate the significance of Orville and Wilbur's accomplishments. But during a planning session for "Inventing Flight," he told me by telephone, "Someone mentioned that the Wright Brothers had a sense of humor. And, of course, Erma Bombeck helped so many of us laugh through a lot of tough times." What better way to honor the aviation pioneers and the late columnist/author Bombeck, a University of Dayton alumnus, than to establish a Web site dedicated to airline humor, Bete determined. And to spark interest, why not sponsor a contest to solicit jokes about the industry. "It's clear airlines have a sense of humor," Bete reasoned. "Just look at the meals they serve. The food is bad but at least there's not a lot of it." Thus, www.flighthumor.org was born. The contest was announced. And Bete, whose multiple roles at the university are demanding enough, figured it would be a fun diversion requiring only a small percentage of his spare time. Surprise! The Web site has attracted more than 16,000 visitors. The contest lured almost 300 entries. Even now that the winners have been named, people are still sending jokes, Bete said. "In the beginning, we thought this would be a one-time thing (in conjunction with the centennial). But we may have to keep it going." Bete, the father of three fliers under age 8 and a self-professed expert at "changing diapers in airplane rest rooms," assembled a panel of seven humor columnists who judged entries in three categories -- true passenger story, true pilot story and original joke. The first-place winner for passenger story was Jim Murray from St. Paul, Minn., who wrote, "On a flight from Anchorage to Tokyo, the flight engineer went back into the passenger cabin. An elderly woman stopped him and asked him what the temperature was. " 'It's 70 degrees, madam,' he replied, adding, 'But outside, it's 30 degrees below zero.' " " 'Young man,' the woman demanded. 'What were you doing outside?' " Second place went to Dana Dunlevy of Florham Park, N.J., who wrote, "During the descent of a flight to Florida, my 18-month-old son's ears began to bother him. I handed him a baby bottle of water, saying, 'This will make your ears feel better.' "He looked uncomprehendingly at the bottle, then at me, and back at the bottle. With a shrug of his shoulders -- exhibiting total trust in what his mother said -- he lifted the bottle and stuck the nipple right in his ear." For sheer volume, I liked an "original joke" entry by second-place finisher Lee Murdock from Grand Forks, N.D. "Since I am an infrequent flier, I have several questions that may seem a bit naive but still cry out for answers," Murdock's entry began: "Do 7:47 and 7:27 planes fly at any other times? "Can I exchange my round-trip ticket for one that is rectangular so that it fits better in my carry-on bag? "Does the overhead storage cover one's eyes? "If I fly a DC 10 can I still use my AC razor? "Isn't it dangerous to make sure the passengers are loaded before takeof= f? "If I happen to be in the head (bathroom) when the 'Fasten Seat Belt' si= gn comes on, can my wife do it for me? "My wife wants to know if a mud pack can be substituted for an oxygen mask?" These and several other entries are included on the Web site, which also features humor columns by Bete and others. Nonwinners elicit a chuckle, too, including this from Leigh Anne Jasheaw= ay from Eugene, Ore.: "I hate flying on small commuter planes. Especially when you walk up to the ticket counter and they have a box on the floor that says, 'If your hips don't fit in this box, you're too big for our ride.' " Kat Lively of Norfolk, Va., reminded about things you don't want to hear on an airplane. Among them: "Are you going to use your barf bag?" "Where do you suppose this giant bolt came from?" And "Hey, Kathie Lee Gifford's in first class. And she's going to sing f= or us." "While we picked two winners in each category, we don't like to consider the other entries losers," Bete said. "Our official position is that our contest was overbooked and some entries were bumped. "We apologize for the inconvenience and hope those who didn't win will f= ly with us again someday." Harry Shattuck is the travel editor of the Houston Chronicle. John Flinn is on assignment.=20 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright 2003 SF Chronicle