Note to Logan Airport Screwballs

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Note to Logan Airport Screwballs
by Charley Hardman


David Socha, a 17-year-old on his way to Hawaii from Paxton, Massachusetts, was
arrested last week in Boston and charged with a felony for having a note in his
gym bag which read: "[Expletive] you. Stay the [expletive] out of my bag you
[expletive] sucker. Have you found a [expletive] bomb yet? No, just clothes. Am
I right? Yea, so [expletive] you."

According to WCVB, he was charged with "making a terrorist threat." Now, I know
I don't have the ability to read tea leaves like today's prosecutors and "law"
makers, but I do know that there's no terrorist threat contained in that note.
Nor is there a "bomb threat," a "false bomb threat," or a reminder to pick up a
quart of milk at the local cash 'n' carry. However, reality can't stop the
Suffolk County District Attorney's Office locomotive. Their spokesman, David A.
Procopio, is quoted as saying, "Putting a false bomb threat in your luggage is
not something we take lightly. In the current climate, it's just unacceptable
because of the fear and panic it causes."

Will one of these federal, state, or neighborhood lunkheads please explain
exactly how Socha's note is a bomb threat? Well, they don't have to, because TSA
quack Ann Davis says, "There was no commotion whatsoever, but when [we] see the
word 'bomb,' we take it very seriously. In today's security environment, there's
no room for that sort of joking."

Nor is there any room for brains. Where, in Socha's brief note, is there a joke
to be found? Please show us. Show us, you unaccountable fruit loops.

Making things a little more sinister, the note is quoted elsewhere as saying,
"Have you found the bomb yet?" The bomb, rather than a bomb. In other words,
there's a bomb somewhere. Nothing like piling on against the poor guy. And the
final blow comes from loyal Socha neighbor Ruth Ryan, who says, "I'm surprised.
I thought he was a good kid."

Let me tell all you lying pukes something: He is a good kid. He's obviously
better than the lot of you obedient sheep who would never think to shout
"LUDICROUS" at people who've done nothing but finish the job for Osama Bin
Laden. Bin Laden's gift to the ruling class was a publicly delivered, Grade-A
license to ill. There's nothing they can't say or do now, apparently, for when
truth is removed from public discourse, anything goes. George Orwell either
predicted it or wrote the manual - hard to tell which. And doing its part for
the end of humanity, the driveling public falls right in line with the script. A
passenger is quoted as saying, "Maybe a little over reacting, but challenging
the federal government to find a bomb in his bag is the wrong thing to do."

Did he challenge the federal government to find a bomb in his bag? Has everybody
gone bananas?

Mr. Socha, I would have worded the note slightly differently, but ya done good,
brah. We need another 200 million like you. People like you founded this
country, and look how you're treated now - in Boston of all places! I swear
those damn British must have left some sleeper cells back in the 1780s. Maybe
it's time to dig under Logan Airport.

No, that's not a terrorist threat. It's a joke - just like TSA.

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