Ya...like most CEOs even know what coach fares are all about. LOL...'bout sums it up. Walter DCA ----- Original Message ----- From: "Dennis W Zeuch" <DZTOPS@aol.com> To: <AIRLINE@LISTSERV.CUNY.EDU> Sent: Tuesday, July 23, 2002 14:12 Subject: Fwd: if airlines sold paint >> > I sometimes wonder if the CEO's of our major carriers have read this, they > should..... over and over.....Dennis > > << IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT... > > > > Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? > > > > Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of > > things. > > > > Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average > > price? > > > > Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have > > 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon. > > > > Customer: What's the difference in the paint? > > > > Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the > > same paint. > > > > Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint. > > > > Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint? > > > > Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off. > > > > Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint. > > > > Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 > > paint? > > > > Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in > > about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start > > painting before Friday of that week and continue > > painting until at least Sunday. > > > > Customer: You've got to be kidding! > > > > Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint > > available. > > > > Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see > > it! > > > > Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint > > available. We sell only a certain number of gallons on > > any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per > > gallon just went to $16. We don't have any more $12 > > paint. > > > > Customer: The price went up as we were talking? > > > > Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules > > hundreds of times a day,and since you haven't actually > > walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just > > decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint > > as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want? > > > > Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so > > I'll have enough. > > > > Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint > > and don't use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of > the > > > paint you already have. > > > > Customer: WHAT? > > > > Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, > > bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop > > painting before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining > > gallons of paint. > > > > Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the > > paint? I already paid you for it! > > > > Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our > > paint is used, every drop. If you don't, it causes us > > all sorts of problems. > > > > Customer: This is crazy! ! I suppose something > > terrible happens if I don't keep painting until after Saturday > night! > > > > Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically > > becomes the $200 paint. > > > > Customer: But what are all these "Paint on sale from > > $10 a liter" signs? > > > > Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes > > in half-gallons.One $5 half-gallon will do half a > > room. The second half-gallon to complete the room is > > $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty and > > there are no refunds, even on the empty cans. > > > > Customer: To hell with this! I'll buy what I need > > somewhere else! > > > > Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy > > paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen > > and dining room from someone else, but you won't be > > able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from > > anyone but us.And I should point out sir, that if you > > paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon. > > > > > > Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was > > $200! > > > > Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the > > point at which you started. A hallway is different. > > > > Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but > > only paint in one direction, you'll confiscate the > > remaining paint. > > > > Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference > on > > your next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now, > sir. > > > > Customer: You're insane! > > > > Clerk: Thanks for painting with Delta. > >