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These are pretty funny. I cannot vouch for the authenticity, though, as this
was forwarded to me by an acquaintance in Wisconsin.
Bob Taylor
Prescott, AZ
>
> >Subject: Fwd: Flying Follies
> >
> >
> >
> >Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations
> >between airline
> >pilots and controllers...here's the top 20 from last year, taken right
> >off the actual tapes
> >
> >"Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?"
> >"N923, the faster you go, the quicker you'll get here"
> >
> >"American 220...eenie, meenie, miney, moe...how do you hear my radio?"
> >
> >"Air Wisconsin 335, caution wake turbulence...there is an Air Wisconsin
> >345 on the frequency."
> >"I don't mind altitude separation as long as they're not on top of each
> >other."
> >
> >"We were told runway 9...we'll take out the 14R approach plate."
> >"Captain, you got 6 miles to take it out...have a ball!"
> >
> >"The traffic at nine o'clock's gonna do a little Linda Rondstadt on
> >you."
> >"Linda Rondstadt?!? What's that????"
> >"Well sir....they're gonna 'Blue Bayou'!"
> >
> >I can see the country club down below...looks like a lot of controllers
> >out there."
> >"Yes sir, there is...and they're caddying for DC-10 drivers like you!"
> >
> >"Northwest 07K...you look like you're established on the localizer and I
> >don't know the names of any of the fixes...you're cleared for the ILS
> >approach, call tower."
> >
> >"Amtram 726, sorry 'bout that...Center thought you were a Midway
> >arrival...just sit back,
> >relax and pass out some more cookies and we'll get you to Milwaukee."
> >
> >"Approach, what's our sequence?"
> >"Calling for sequence, I missed your call sign...but if I find out what
> >it is, you're last"
> >
> >"Sure you can have 8 miles behind the heavy, but there'll be United
> >Tri-jet between you and
> >him."
> >
> >"Approach, Southwest 436...you want US to turn right to 090???"
> >"No, I want your brother to turn...just do it and don't argue!"
> >
> >"Approach, United 525...what's this aircraft doing at my altitude?"
> >"United 525...what makes you think it's your altitude?!?"
> >
> >"Delta 1176, say speed"
> >"Approach, we slowed to 220"
> >"Delta 1176, pick it back up to 250...this ain't Atlanta and those ain't
> >grits on the ground."
> >
> >"Request runway 27 right."
> >"Unable."
> >"Approach...do you know that the wind at 6,000 aft is 270 at 50?"
> >"Yeah I do...and if we could jack the airport up to 5,500 ft, you could
> >have that runway...expect 14 right."
> >
> >"Air Force 45, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've
> >already ejected."
> >
> >"The first officer's says he has you in sight"
> >"Roger, the first officer's cleared for a visual approach runway
> >27...YOU continue on that
> >180 heading and descend down to 3,000 ft."
> >
> >"Hey O'Hare...you see that 7600 code flashing 5 miles NW of Gary?"
> >"Yeah I do...you guys talking to him?"
> >
> >"Approach, what's the tower?"
> >"A big tall building with glass all around it..."
> >
> >"How far behind traffic are we?"
> >"3 miles."
> >"That doesn't look like 3 miles to us!"
> >"Well, you're a mile and a half from him and he's a mile and a half from
> >you, so that's 3 miles!"
> >
>
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<HTML><FONT FACE=arial,helvetica><FONT SIZE=2>These are pretty funny. I cannot vouch for the authenticity, though, as this was forwarded to me by an acquaintance in Wisconsin.<BR>
<BR>
Bob Taylor<BR>
Prescott, AZ<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE TYPE=CITE style="BORDER-LEFT: #0000ff 2px solid; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px"><BR>
>Subject: Fwd: Flying Follies<BR>
><BR>
><BR>
><BR>
>Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations<BR>
>between airline<BR>
>pilots and controllers...here's the top 20 from last year, taken right<BR>
>off the actual tapes<BR>
><BR>
>"Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?"<BR>
>"N923, the faster you go, the quicker you'll get here"<BR>
><BR>
>"American 220...eenie, meenie, miney, moe...how do you hear my radio?"<BR>
><BR>
>"Air Wisconsin 335, caution wake turbulence...there is an Air Wisconsin<BR>
>345 on the frequency."<BR>
>"I don't mind altitude separation as long as they're not on top of each<BR>
>other."<BR>
><BR>
>"We were told runway 9...we'll take out the 14R approach plate."<BR>
>"Captain, you got 6 miles to take it out...have a ball!"<BR>
><BR>
>"The traffic at nine o'clock's gonna do a little Linda Rondstadt on<BR>
>you."<BR>
>"Linda Rondstadt?!? What's that????"<BR>
>"Well sir....they're gonna 'Blue Bayou'!"<BR>
><BR>
>I can see the country club down below...looks like a lot of controllers<BR>
>out there."<BR>
>"Yes sir, there is...and they're caddying for DC-10 drivers like you!"<BR>
><BR>
>"Northwest 07K...you look like you're established on the localizer and I<BR>
>don't know the names of any of the fixes...you're cleared for the ILS<BR>
>approach, call tower."<BR>
><BR>
>"Amtram 726, sorry 'bout that...Center thought you were a Midway<BR>
>arrival...just sit back,<BR>
>relax and pass out some more cookies and we'll get you to Milwaukee."<BR>
><BR>
>"Approach, what's our sequence?"<BR>
>"Calling for sequence, I missed your call sign...but if I find out what<BR>
>it is, you're last"<BR>
><BR>
>"Sure you can have 8 miles behind the heavy, but there'll be United<BR>
>Tri-jet between you and<BR>
>him."<BR>
><BR>
>"Approach, Southwest 436...you want US to turn right to 090???"<BR>
>"No, I want your brother to turn...just do it and don't argue!"<BR>
><BR>
>"Approach, United 525...what's this aircraft doing at my altitude?"<BR>
>"United 525...what makes you think it's your altitude?!?"<BR>
><BR>
>"Delta 1176, say speed"<BR>
>"Approach, we slowed to 220"<BR>
>"Delta 1176, pick it back up to 250...this ain't Atlanta and those ain't<BR>
>grits on the ground."<BR>
><BR>
>"Request runway 27 right."<BR>
>"Unable."<BR>
>"Approach...do you know that the wind at 6,000 aft is 270 at 50?"<BR>
>"Yeah I do...and if we could jack the airport up to 5,500 ft, you could<BR>
>have that runway...expect 14 right."<BR>
><BR>
>"Air Force 45, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've<BR>
>already ejected."<BR>
><BR>
>"The first officer's says he has you in sight"<BR>
>"Roger, the first officer's cleared for a visual approach runway<BR>
>27...YOU continue on that<BR>
>180 heading and descend down to 3,000 ft."<BR>
><BR>
>"Hey O'Hare...you see that 7600 code flashing 5 miles NW of Gary?"<BR>
>"Yeah I do...you guys talking to him?"<BR>
><BR>
>"Approach, what's the tower?"<BR>
>"A big tall building with glass all around it..."<BR>
><BR>
>"How far behind traffic are we?"<BR>
>"3 miles."<BR>
>"That doesn't look like 3 miles to us!"<BR>
>"Well, you're a mile and a half from him and he's a mile and a half from<BR>
>you, so that's 3 miles!"<BR>
><BR>
</BLOCKQUOTE><BR>
<BR>
</FONT></HTML>
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From: Jschne2@aol.com
Full-name: Jschne2
Message-ID: <158.783163f.297afbb3@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 19 Jan 2002 11:41:23 EST
Subject: Flying Follies
To: MB280SL@aol.com
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X-Mailer: AOL 7.0 for Windows US sub 121
>Subject: Fwd: Flying Follies
>
>
>
>Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations
>between airline
>pilots and controllers...here's the top 20 from last year, taken right
>off the actual tapes
>
>"Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?"
>"N923, the faster you go, the quicker you'll get here"
>
>"American 220...eenie, meenie, miney, moe...how do you hear my radio?"
>
>"Air Wisconsin 335, caution wake turbulence...there is an Air Wisconsin
>345 on the frequency."
>"I don't mind altitude separation as long as they're not on top of each
>other."
>
>"We were told runway 9...we'll take out the 14R approach plate."
>"Captain, you got 6 miles to take it out...have a ball!"
>
>"The traffic at nine o'clock's gonna do a little Linda Rondstadt on
>you."
>"Linda Rondstadt?!? What's that????"
>"Well sir....they're gonna 'Blue Bayou'!"
>
>I can see the country club down below...looks like a lot of controllers
>out there."
>"Yes sir, there is...and they're caddying for DC-10 drivers like you!"
>
>"Northwest 07K...you look like you're established on the localizer and I
>don't know the names of any of the fixes...you're cleared for the ILS
>approach, call tower."
>
>"Amtram 726, sorry 'bout that...Center thought you were a Midway
>arrival...just sit back,
>relax and pass out some more cookies and we'll get you to Milwaukee."
>
>"Approach, what's our sequence?"
>"Calling for sequence, I missed your call sign...but if I find out what
>it is, you're last"
>
>"Sure you can have 8 miles behind the heavy, but there'll be United
>Tri-jet between you and
>him."
>
>"Approach, Southwest 436...you want US to turn right to 090???"
>"No, I want your brother to turn...just do it and don't argue!"
>
>"Approach, United 525...what's this aircraft doing at my altitude?"
>"United 525...what makes you think it's your altitude?!?"
>
>"Delta 1176, say speed"
>"Approach, we slowed to 220"
>"Delta 1176, pick it back up to 250...this ain't Atlanta and those ain't
>grits on the ground."
>
>"Request runway 27 right."
>"Unable."
>"Approach...do you know that the wind at 6,000 aft is 270 at 50?"
>"Yeah I do...and if we could jack the airport up to 5,500 ft, you could
>have that runway...expect 14 right."
>
>"Air Force 45, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've
>already ejected."
>
>"The first officer's says he has you in sight"
>"Roger, the first officer's cleared for a visual approach runway
>27...YOU continue on that
>180 heading and descend down to 3,000 ft."
>
>"Hey O'Hare...you see that 7600 code flashing 5 miles NW of Gary?"
>"Yeah I do...you guys talking to him?"
>
>"Approach, what's the tower?"
>"A big tall building with glass all around it..."
>
>"How far behind traffic are we?"
>"3 miles."
>"That doesn't look like 3 miles to us!"
>"Well, you're a mile and a half from him and he's a mile and a half from
>you, so that's 3 miles!"
>
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